Earning v. Winning: The Infinite Game of Business Development
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A single word can change everything—especially our mindsets and behaviors.
It’s like the Butterfly Effect, but for words. It's the idea that small changes, like choosing one word over another, can lead to big differences in how we approach our goals.
Consider the difference between saying we want to "win" new clients versus saying we aim to "earn" their trust and business. It sounds similar, right—perhaps a distinction without a difference? But the shift from "winning" to "earning" is significant.
Choosing "earn" makes us think about building relationships, not just closing deals. It's about creating value and working together for mutual benefit, not just beating the competition. It's not just about the immediate win, but about creating lasting success and trust.
Let’s dive in.
Playing the Infinite Game of Business Development
In the world of games, there are two kinds: finite and infinite. Finite games, like football, have clear rules, agreed-upon objectives, and end points. There’s always a winner and a loser.
The problem with approaching business development as a finite game is that it fosters zero-sum thinking—beating the competition to win the client, focusing on short-term victories that might yield impressive initial results but often prove unsustainable over time. A win-at-all-cost mentality, for example, can lead us take on work outside of our area of expertise, discount our fees, or even compromise our values.
This mindset limits our potential, confining us to the boundaries of the game's rules and the pursuit of fleeting wins.
Infinite games, on the other hand, are distinct in that the primary objective isn’t to win at all costs but to keep playing, and enjoy the process along the way. Infinite players don’t play within fixed boundaries; they play with the boundaries, evolving the game to ensure its continuation.
This perspective shifts our focus from a singular victory—landing a new client—to nurturing an ongoing, evolving partnership. Viewing business development as an infinite game changes our perspectives in positive ways. It's not about "winning" a client away from competitors in a zero-sum scenario; instead, it becomes about "earning" the right to work with clients through continuous value creation, mutual respect, and shared growth. An infinite game is a sustainable game.
Three Pillars of Earning Opportunities
At the heart of shifting from "winning" to "earning" in business development are three pillars: Relationships, Visibility, and Trust. Each plays an important role in not just attracting clients, but in fostering an environment where they choose to stay, engage, and grow with us over time.
Relationships
Building long-term relationships is about more than just networking—it's about creating connections that are rooted in mutual respect and understanding. It’s recognizing that every interaction is an opportunity to deepen a relationship, not just a transaction to be closed. When we focus on earning relationships (you can’t “win” them), we invest in understanding our clients' needs, goals, and challenges, aiming to be partners in their success, not just service providers.
Visibility
Earning attention and visibility in today's noisy market requires more than traditional marketing tactics—such as buying attention through advertising. It's about offering value through content, insights, and thought leadership that speaks directly to our clients' needs and interests. This approach positions us as trusted advisors rather than just vendors, making our clients and potential clients more receptive to engaging with us because we’re sharing work that resonates on a deeper level.
Trust
Trust is perhaps the most critical element in moving from winning to earning. The “Trust Equation” offers a clear framework for understanding and building trust: Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy divided by Self-Orientation. This means demonstrating our expertise and knowledge (Credibility), being dependable and consistent (Reliability), creating a sense of closeness—even friendship (Intimacy), and always prioritizing our clients' interests above our own (lowering Self-Orientation). It’s a holistic approach that goes beyond the basics of doing good work—it’s about building a relationship where clients know that we have their best interests at heart in every interaction.
By focusing on these pillars, you can lay the groundwork for a business development strategy that’s centered on earning. It’s a strategy that recognizes the importance of each client as an individual, values the long-term over the quick win, and ultimately, creates a sustainable model for growth and success.
Collaboration Is More Powerful Than Competition
When we pivot from a mindset focused on winning to one dedicated to earning, we inherently shift our perspective from competing to collaborating. This change is crucial, not just in how we view our relationships with clients, but also in how we interact within our own teams and with other professionals in our field. In a world obsessed with competition, it's easy to view lawyers outside our firm and even our colleagues as adversaries—competitors for scarce opportunities. But this viewpoint blinds us to the benefits that come from working together.
Collaboration doesn't just add value, it multiplies it. It’s central to playing the infinite game of business development. It fosters a culture of shared success within a firm, where credit is generously distributed, opportunities are pursued with collective effort, and cross-selling becomes commonplace. Collaboration-minded lawyers also build strong relationships with lawyers outside their firms. The most important referral sources for many lawyers are, you guessed it, other lawyers.
By choosing to earn business through collaboration, we come to recognize that our collective capabilities far exceed the sum of our individual efforts.
Shine Like the Sun
The Wind and the Sun argued about who was stronger. To settle their dispute, they agreed to see who could make a traveler remove his cloak. The Wind blew with all its might, but the harder it blew, the tighter the traveler clung to his cloak. Then, the Sun gently shone its warm rays, and the traveler, feeling the warmth, willingly removed his cloak.
This parable illustrates the power of persuasion over force, of earning over winning. In all your business development interactions, shine like the sun.
Instead of thinking about your business development efforts in terms of wins and losses, think about how much value you can create for others. This shifts your mindset from one of scarcity (“I need more revenue”) to one of abundance (“I will offer more value”). The more value you create for others, the more you’ll create for yourself.
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Jay Harrington is president of our agency, a published author, and nationally-recognized expert in thought-leadership marketing.
From strategic planning to writing, podcasting, video marketing, and design, Jay and his team help lawyers and law firms turn expertise into thought leadership, and thought leadership into new business. Get in touch to learn more about the consulting and coaching services we provide. You can reach Jay at jay@hcommunications.biz.